Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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