so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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