literally had 100 drinks last night.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
