Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
