my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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