my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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