I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
