So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
