I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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