There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
