i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
