guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
