you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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