I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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