I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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