We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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