i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
