I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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