BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
