Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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