Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
