I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
