sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
