I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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