I wanna bring you to show and tell
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
