Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That accounts for only three of the penises
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
