Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
