O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
