i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
