I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
