How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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