Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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