ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
