Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
