guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
