it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
