Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
