the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
