you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
