i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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