he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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