Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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