My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
