i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
