it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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