we have pet lesbian snakes
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize