it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
