Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
