How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize