just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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