Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i believe in u and ur pee
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
