We're like a lot better than the average bears
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
