I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
no, he came in my armpit
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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