I think I am morally bankrupt
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
